For most couples, sex is a natural way to express love and desire. In the early stages of a relationship, couples may find themselves having sex quite frequently. There’s a lot of passion, attraction, and exploration fueled by getting to know one another intimately.
Newer relationships may have sex more frequently and after a period of time, their sex life may wane.
As the relationship progresses, it is assumed a couple’s sex life slows down to be not quite as often as it was in the earlier days for various reasons. But this is not always the case.
What if one partner’s sexual appetite seems insatiable? Is that a good thing? Is it normal?
Sometimes one person’s sex drive may be stronger and it can lead to occasions where one partner wants sex more often than the other.
But what happens when those sexual drives turn into more of a compulsion…and maybe even borderline on a sexual addiction?
If anytime one partner feels like what the other is doing is making them feel used, ‘dirty,’ objectified, or humiliated then there may be a problem.
In addition, the affected partner may experience anger, hopelessness, and low self-esteem. They perceive that the problems lie with them and their inadequacies, rather then a deeply rooted emotional problem that the sexual addicted partner is unaware of. Addiction takes form in many ways; it shows up in your life as an indicator that an emotional or psychological unresolved issue is expressing itself in your relationship.
It’s not a matter of just wanting to have sex several times a week. It’s a matter of there is no intimacy and connection.
Some signs of sexual addiction can include:
Prostitutes, cyber sex, and other sexual encounters
These are just a few examples of how sexual addiction can manifest. What can be confusing is some of these symptoms may be normal sexual preferences for many couples.
Like with any addiction, it is a matter of absence of control – when the desire or compulsion to watch pornography or masturbate interferes with the person’s daily life or causes other problems.
When someone is caught having one night stand’s with strangers or prostitutes, it can be an indicator of a sexual addiction, as can multiple affairs.
If someone is using pornography or excessive masturbation to take the place of having an intimate relationship or starts missing work or other activities because of these activities, it’s a problem.
Watching pornography or masturbating do not mean there is a sex addiction within healthy parameters – it’s when they become excessive and interfere with the person’s daily life and cause problems in their relationship.
Even though sex is a natural function, it is something that can be very uncomfortable to talk about – particularly when there may be a problem. How do you bring up the subject? How do you talk to your partner or spouse about what’s going on without further damaging your relationship?
Can your relationship ever return to what you consider a healthy normal?
It can, but it will take some work. That’s where I come in.
I can work with you both or individually. Therapy can help your partner learn how to overcome the compulsions. Counseling can help you learn coping skills and work through the problems and feelings that have arose from the addiction.
In cases where infidelity became an issue, I can help you work on rebuilding your trust and how to deal with the cheating.
It all depends on what your relationship and you each individually need.
Together, we will work on your relationship so you can move forward.